Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize