I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
