My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
