That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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