So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize