just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
