I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Dick very happy bro
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
