So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize