i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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