i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize