I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
