Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize