Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
