It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
