you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
