Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
