i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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