haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
