New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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