Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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