It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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