I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My pussy is not your playground.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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