I wish I could punch you in the face.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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