Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
