story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
