god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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