Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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