i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
