would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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