And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
