It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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