Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
