fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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