...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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