When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
