Got a toothbrush?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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