It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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