i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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