i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
