Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
