Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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