So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
