i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
