i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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