is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
