Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
All I want is dick and wine.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
