Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize