Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
