i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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