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Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
