I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
