what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize