woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
People in love make me want to vomit
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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