This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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