The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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