I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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