so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize