did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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