Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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