ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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