I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
