she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
