Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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