I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I should be sponsored by Trojan
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
