we're blogging at a bar
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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