My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
