My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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