all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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