Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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