Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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