Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.

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(310): View more from California

u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.

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(980): View more from North Carolina

after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face

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(904): View more from Florida

You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.

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(541): View more from Oregon

You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?

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(937): View more from Ohio

I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.

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